Writing: Advice for those about to start high school

    You do not need a giant rucksack
  • You probably won’t need the triangle thingy that comes with your protractor and compass.
  • They lie when say you need a scientific calculator in your first year, more like year ten or 11.
  • You do not need need to look like an oompah lumpa with your make up.. subtlety is key, year seven PE does not need require elaborate eyeshadow.
  • You’ll all be scared shitless together so don’t pretend you’re not.
  • If you have any disability be prepared for inane questions from your fellow comrades (everyone will want to be your friend when they find out you get to leave class early and a lift pass) and the piss taken out of you.
  • Ditch the lunch box.
  • Do not forget your headphones for the bus.
  • You’ll think your in love by the end of the first term, FYI you’re not, and no, there’s no hope for you and the sixth former who kissed you on the cheek under the mistletoe that’s attached your wheelchair headrest…
  • Charlie perfume was sooo 2000’s. Now it’s all about that jack wills body spray.
  • If you’re a sweet innocent and niave who’s struggling to fit in; drop a swear word into every other sentence. That way you’ll not be labelled as the ‘One who has a stick up their ass’.
  • The music department will always be your home.
  • Don’t have a HSM pencil case
  • Don’t take yourself too seriously and don’t worry too much. You think you’re life is hard now, well it gets even more complicated as you grow older. Enjoy the easy years.

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